Beauty and the Beast

Life constantly ebbs and flows...the waves roll in and out, the sun comes up and goes down, the clouds rumble in and float away, we wake up and go to bed, I laugh and I cry, there is beauty and there is pain.... Thailand is an interesting mix of wealth and poverty. As I drive through town (or I should say...as I ride on the back of a motor bike taxi), I pass luxury resorts, built next to makeshift homes made out of metal and wood scraps. There are stunning homes built on cliff tops with spectacular views, built next to shanty towns that house the laborers who are building yet another fancy resort. One of the many beautiful parts of this culture is how kind and gentle the people are. Men and women of all ages always smile at you. I've never seen anyone get upset or angry. The nurses I work with are always laughing. The men at the cafeteria play chess and checkers during lunch.

As I listen to the news in the morning, the most common words I hear are: the economy this and that, the markets are up or down, recession bla bla, financial bla bla, mortgage crisis, money, money, money....and I often think to myself, 'I think something is missing here.' Money does not create life fulfillment, nor guarantee happiness. And isn't that what everybody truly desires? A sense of happiness and fulfillment?

The 'poor' people I see in town are usually smiling and laughing. Compare them to the rich executives who walk into my office, often overweight, stressed out, and hopefully not minutes away from having a heart attack, as I often wonder. So, does this mean I want to be poor? Well no. I still desire enough money for travel and adventure, delectable nutrients for my body, a beautiful home to share with my family, safety, clothes that I feel good in, and a few other luxuries here and there. But it also makes me realize the vast array of possibilities for creating a fulfilling and 'rich' life.

Perfection. There is a part of me that is always striving for a perfect day. Even as I write this I think, "Is this the perfect word to use? The perfect phrase? The perfect way to say what I want to say?" I have realized that one of the main purposes for my life here in Thailand is to let go of that voice...that voice that always second guesses the present moment, only looking for and being satisfied with perfection. When I listen to it, it generally leaves me with an empty sense of frustration that clouds over the ever present beauty in life which is always present. Always. It's a matter of perspective and attitude. Was today a great day or was it not? Seeing the ying and yang in life and being okay with both. That is what I am focusing on here. And here's a great example:

It was the end of the day and the sun was setting. I took a walk on the beach and decided to get a massage. My options were limited because at this time of day, many of the massages huts have already packed up and gone home. But I found a spot still open for business and laid down on one of the tables in the sand. None of the women spoke english but there was no doubt as to what I desired. I looked around to see if the lady was going to wash her hands before she started. She rinsed them in a bucket of water, no soap in sight. Oh well. So her hands hadn't exactly been sanitized, but really, in the big picture of things, what does that mean for my health? Nothing. So I let it go.

And so there I lay on the table, receiving a massage, on the beach, with the sounds of waves crashing, and the sun setting. To my right is a group of local kids playing football (that's soccer to us americans). They're laughing and having a great time. In regards to ying and yang, they would represent the 'yang'....yang is represented by fire, air, wind, movement. 'Ying' energy is heavy, slow, dark. So then I looked down the beach to my left, and I saw a dog. There are lots of dogs on the beach. There are lots of dogs in town. They run around all day long looking for food. Well to my left, is a dog, and the dog is dead. Kids playing soccer to my right and a dog that is dead to my left. It's not exactly just lying there peacefully either. I'll spare you the details and just leave them up to your imagination...

So what kind of day did I have? It was a perfect day, perfectly imperfect. Ying and yang both alive (well, not exactly in the literal sense) and flowing. Learning to embrace the light and the dark side of life, without judging one as good or bad, this is where I believe true peace lies....and is one of the main shifts I believe is happening in my life, here in Thailand.